this is so frustrating. i feel like i’m taking one step forward, then two steps back. i was just getting there. i was just getting to that point where you weren’t the first thing on my mind. to the point where i didn’t see you in every dream i had. the point where you weren’t the first person that popped into my head when i woke up. its all your fault. the second you talked to me, i felt it all coming back at me; like water finally breaking through a cracked dam. i felt my face burning, getting redder by the minute. do you know you’re the only guy who can make me do that? i wanted to curl up in a ball and just remember that moment for forever; the way you talked to me online- how natural it just came to both of us. did you feel the same way i did?
time is running out. summer is slowly coming to a close. i’ve been waiting for so long. i’ve been waiting for the day you just look me in the eyes and tell me what i’ve been longing to hear for so long. i have it all planned out in my head, but you’ll never know that. you’ll never know that whenever i talk to you, you bring me right back to the beginning, no matter how far away from it i am. and that, i think, is what has kept me holding on to what might happen for so long.
i’m not really sure for this one. maybe its because there is nobody that did anything that is worth me getting that upset about, but then forgiving them. or maybe its because if you did something- and i’m not trying to be mean- i don’t care enough to forgive you. i’m usually a forgiving person, so if you did something to hurt me- i’ll try my best to forgive you. sure, i hold grudges, but everyone does. there is not a certain person right now that i’m willing to give a second chance to, but only because nobody has done anything to hurt me.